February 15, 2007

Valentine's Day and a Dude Review

Tonight I took my Valentine, Mini Red, out to dinner. We went into Bethesda and ate at Rock Bottom. She tried to pull a fast one and ordered a Mountain Dew, but I nixed that one real quick. I don’t need her all spazed out on the Dew.

Eating at Rock Bottom reminded me of a match.com date I had a few years ago. Bob seemed like an all-American type guy. We met up at the bar and from the git he couldn’t stop staring at my chest. There's a large mirror behind the bar and he would stare at my chest from there but wouldn’t turn and face me directly. So I got a bit of the heebeegeebees going on but it had only been approximately 15 minutes and you can’t make a decision on a person in that short of a time.

We decided to get a bite to eat so we moved to a table in the restaurant area. As soon as we sat down he would look down at the table rather than face me. What the doofus didn’t realize is I could see his eyeballs even though he couldn’t see mine but he could see my chest and stared at it non-stop through dinner.

I had finished my meal but not my beer and excused myself to the restroom. When I got back to the table it was cleared and he wasn’t there but he appeared moments after me.

The doofus had followed me to the restroom for fear I was ditching him and I guess the waiter thought we left so he cleared the table. I was done with this date at this point but I continued to be the nice person I always try to be and prayed this would be over soon.

We walked out of the restaurant and suddenly his arms were around me asking where we could go next. I guess he thought if he made it through dinner then he could touch. I told him I had to go, thanked him and started walking home.

He was so odd I feared he might follow me. In my mind I still think of him as “Bab the smarmy sales dude who acted as if he had never seen breasts before.”

This is one of the awful dates that have led to my absence from the dating scene or rather mistrust of you fellows. My friends are becoming concerned and one has even made it his New Year resolution to get me a date. Another friend said I was just demagnetizing from all the bad/scary dates.

It has been suggested that I do some chasing of boys. My experience has proved this to be disastrous on several occasions. I believe it's obvious when I'm interested but I could be wrong. It's difficult to put yourself out there and show interest not knowing if that interest is reciprocated. I have even put it out there when it was reciprocated and then they change their mind.

I admit I can be a bit picky, as some put it. I'm also not gonna fight for one of you dudes especially if another woman is involved. You know who you want and if it’s me then you'll do what it takes to show me that you want me and keep me. I don't want some man that’s wishy washy or full of drama.

They say women are difficult to figure out and I agree they can be but you dudes are just as difficult.

Bryan Adams seems to have gotten this down pat, which is evident by this song: