The Latin Match Makes An Appearance

I'm walking down the hall at work and a co-worker of mine, who has recently rejoined Match.com, calls my name.

Co-Worker: "Red! Check out this guy I've been talking to"
Red: "Oh It's Arnold! Or should I say Arnulfo"
Co-Worker: "What?"
Red: "Haven't you read my blog? The Latin Match? He's married with a 3 y.o. son"
Co-Worker: "What?"
Red: "Did he tell you he's a Lawyer?"
Co-Worker: "No."
Red: "CPA?"
Co-Worker: "How did you know?"
Red: "As well as doing Immigration Law he also said he was a CPA but he has his sister run that part of his business."
Co-Worker: "What?"
Red: "You may want to think about reporting him to Match.com."

She immediately sends him an email. In the subject line she writes "Arnulfo?" She continues, "I work with Red (redhead) who told me about your wife and 3 y.o. son......"

A few days later I'm thinking about how I want to blog this and it hits me. I need to post his photo! I check my emails for the photos he sent me and DAMN I deleted them! This would have been great material. He even apologized for the photos he sent because he was wearing a wife beater. That should have been my first clue. But then again we would all be missing out on this sick little man. So I have my co-worker email the photo he sent her. When I opened it I died laughing.

Check out the tie and the calculator! As if!

Quotes Mom Emailed Me.

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
--Gary Brown

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
--Rodney Dangerfield

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
--Lynn Lavner

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
--Tiger Woods

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."
--Sharon Stone

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
--Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'."
--Jerry Seinfeld

To Snuggle or Not to Snuggle?

I believe there are certain misconceptions that are still out there that are unfounded these days. For example, women want to snuggle… all the time. Not so!
I found myself being quite honest during the brief time I dated Boat Boy. One night we were lying in bed and my head was on his chest and I said,

"Is this the obligatory cuddle time?"

He just laughed.
All the while I'm dying to just roll over and go to sleep.
I said,

"Cause you know were gonna roll over in a few minutes and do the butt snuggle."

"The butt snuggle?"

"Yeah, when you rollover, go to sleep and only your butts are touching."

I guess my ex husband trained me well. Plus if you were comfortable enough to fall asleep with your head on his chest (yeah right) it would be embarrassing if you drooled all over him.

In the movie When Harry Met Sally, Harry says,

"You meet someone, you have the safe lunch, you decide you like each other enough to move on to dinner, you go dancing, you do the white man's overbite, you go back to her place, you have sex, and the minute you're finished, you know what goes through your mind? How long do I have to lie here and hold her before I can get up and go home? Is thirty seconds enough?"

Women are thinking the same thing… at least I do!

The character, Miranda, said a similar thing in the show Sex And The City. Maybe in the past women were needy like that and maybe some still are but today I believe women are much stronger and more independent. It seems men are becoming the more sensitive of the species… or at least faking it.

So many men say, or state, on Match.com, that they enjoy taking long walks on the beach but when was the last time you saw a hot single guy walking down the beach alone?