August 15, 2005

The Latin Match

Sometime ago I agreed to meet Arnold, from Match, for lunch before he leaves for his two week vacation. He has defined himself as the Virginia Latin Lawyer on Match. I get the impression from his emails the his English leaves a bit to be desired. He tells me he does immigration law which explains, at least in my mind, why his English needs some work. I have given him directions to my general location at work. He tells me he has parked and I realize it is about 5 blocks away. So I hike up there and meet him... He gives me a hug and attempts to kiss me. I have only had limited emails with this person and didn't feel a hug, or anything else for that matter, are in order. But I am going with the flow and at least am able to thwart the kiss. We end up at a Latin restaurant and on purpose I sit with the mirror to my back I didn't want to be looking at myself throughout lunch. Well Arnold seemed to enjoy staring at himself all through lunch. He talks about his money and and all of his different investments and I can't get a word in edgewise. My ADD kicks in and I think he doesn't look like the lawyer type. Plus I never knew a lawyer to wear jeans and a polo shirt to lunch where he is showing off his muscles, but I decide to give him the benefit of the doubt. I mean really what do I care because he is boring me to death. Now he tells me he is also a CPA but lets one of his sisters run that part of the business. I believe it was at this point he takes a break from eating and leans back in his chair with his hands behind his head viewing his muscular arms in the mirror behind me. How am I supposed to keep from laughing? He continues on telling me about the 150k he has invested in a cousins paving business. I try to change the subject and ask him where he is going on his vacation and he tells me "The Dominican Republic". As he contemplates his trip he is leaving for he thinks (out loud) that maybe he will just buy a home there... It would be a good investment and should be somewhat inexpensive at 150k. Seems everything is 150k hmmmm?
So we finish lunch and leave the restaurant. We get near his car and I gave him an uncomfortable hug and thanked him for lunch. At this point I guess he thinks he is owed something and tries, AGAIN, to kiss me. He asks why I am backing off and I point out that we are on a street corner and this is the first time we have met. He makes a second attempt and I am push him away saying "No, no, no funny guy". I say thanks again for lunch but I have to get back to work.
Well that is one for the blog! But it gets even better!!!!
Recently, I open my email and notice I have mail from him. Oye he is back! The subject line says "Married" but thinking nothing of it I open the email which says:
"This is Arnold's wife. He is married with a three year old son. I just found out that he has been seeing multiple women and lying about himself. I have reported him to Please let me know if you have had relations with him. Myself, yourself and my son do not deserve the lies. Please contact me at ______ . His real name is Arnulfo. He is not an attorney. I hope you are as discussed as I am."
So I replied:
"Yes I am disgusted! No there were NOT any relations and I was having a hard time believing he was a lawyer.
I'm sorry you have to deal with this, I wish you luck and I will keep you in my prayers.
Please do not contact me again I will be blocking both email address."

Note to self: Follow your instincts!
And thank goodness I did! I say this goes to show that the freaks don't only come out at night.
That poor woman.