Quotes Mom Emailed Me.

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
--Gary Brown

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
--Rodney Dangerfield

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
--Lynn Lavner

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
--Tiger Woods

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."
--Sharon Stone

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
--Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'."
--Jerry Seinfeld