September 3, 2006

Labor Day Weekend Fun at Seacrets

I must forewarn you guys this is probably what is considered a drunken post.

Last night we all went out for Happy Hour and to catch some football from a different angle (at the bar). Mom Catches sight of this young hottie dude. She says he would be perfect for me. I explain that he is too young. She says, “But he would be fun.” To which I replied, “Yeah maybe for one night!” She says “No one night stands!” We heard him talking to some chick later on and I pointed out that he had no brain.

Some older dudes walk in and neither have rings. Mom is itching to approach them for me. Thank goodness Dad stops her. She says she just wants me to be happy, but I told her I don’t need a man to make me happy. I went on to tell her that at this point I really don’t even want to deal with any men because they are too frustrating.

This morning I did some serious walking with Dad on the boardwalk. I was amazed at how it looked after Ernesto’s visit. There was sand everywhere! It looked like a blizzard hit but instead of snow it was sand.

I think everyone got up but then took a nap. I did in a wicker chair and now my back and neck aren’t feeling so good but the rest of me is. Hahahaha

We all headed out and the plan was to go kayaking with the folks kayak and jet skiing. But the earliest we could procure some time for the jetskiis was 3pm and that was the set time for the bikini contest at Seacrets. Heaven forbid the boys miss that. So we have a time of 10am set for Monday morning. We did a little kayaking and this was a first for me. I need to work on my rowing but not bad for my first time.

We get to Seacrets and find Brithe-Man and his wife. They saw my Mom and I Kayaking past just a little bit earlier. We get going on the eats and the drinks and everything moves forward quite fast. I lost track of how many Pain In De Ass drinks I had.

The sights can be quite amusing at Seacrets such as this comb-over with a tail on one of the skinniest dudes I think I have ever seen, Others were over heard saying “I wish he would put his shirt back on.”

Since it’s the end of the summer there is a group of guys all with similar t-shirts. They all had something different on the back with a number. One said Tripod and Mom didn’t understand what that meant. I was about to tell her and ever one yelled “NO!” I whispered, “Three legs.” She got it immediately. Thank goodness!

My Mom’s favorite was the pervert:

She had talked to him last weekend and he is a freaking riot. Mom found out he teaches 8th grade in the Pocono’s. If his students could just see him now. He brought whipped cream with him. He had it allover his face after spraying it on some chick and licking it off.

Some obscenely gross skinny chick came up to him and wanted him to lick the whipped cream off her but he said no. He sprayed it on himself, instead, to have her lick it off. Either way it was a bit gross because she had something on her lip.

As Mr. Pervert was dancing around getting people going crazy … here comes this chick. At first she is dancing in the water but came up to the shore line to dance with Mr. Pervert. The funny thing about this chick is just an hour earlier she said she was classier than the girls in the bikini contest and would never behave the way they are behaving and dancing.

She calms down and soon finds the Jersey Boys. But then she starts dancing around them again and grinding against each one. Hey if I were younger and had her body I might have tried. Well… no maybe not but they were some hot boys.

A good time was had by all. The folks came home and I followed soon after. Brotha-Man and his wife along with my sister and The Boyfriend are still there watching football.

I think the highlight of my day was the crab toast. I wish I could have eaten more since no-one else would. Exactly one year ago today my sister-in-law ended up obscenely sick. There is still a debate over the cause… whether it was the Dirty Bananas (alcohol) or the Crab Toast.