January 8, 2007

Thank goodness taking the tree out is only once a year

Well that was a bigger ordeal than expected.
This tree was much sappier than last year's so everything became more difficult starting with getting the tree out of the stand. The stand I have pushes against the tree on four sides with screws but not into the tree. There was so much sap it was kinda stuck and took more effort than expected to undo it all. Thank goodness I had Mini Red to hold the tree… Well not really hold it but she kept it from falling over since I haven’t yet figured how to grow a third arm out of my ass yet.

Mini Red and I got the tree out of the apartment, down the hall, onto the elevator and out to the dumpster. Last year the trees were to go in a special area reserved for furniture and large items being trashed rather than the regular dumpster for the everyday trash. We headed directly to this area to find it locked. DAMN! Not to mention it was pouring down rain and I wasn’t going to take the tree back upstairs. So I looked at Mini Red and said, “Think we can get it up over the gate?” Mind you the gate is about seven feet tall.

Of course, Mini Red’s reply was, “Sure Mom!”

Oh Lord what chaos this was. I mean really Mini Red is a little girl so I can’t expect much from her but damn if she didn’t try her hardest. This next part is not easy to describe but try to use your imagination as you think about me pushing this bushy 6 foot tree over a 7 foot gate. I got it up there and it started to fall back down and if a tree had a butt then I was the proctologist. A couple of shoves and the tree went over. I was now spitting pine needles but I'm glad that's done with. Phew!

On our way back in we noticed that we left pine needles everywhere as if we were Gretel and Mini Gretel. We also started noticing how sappy we were. Back in the apartment pine needles are everywhere. I want to laugh about our experience with the tree but the pine needles were making me crazy and I needed them vacuumed IMMEDIATELY. Mini Red was supposed to do this but it wasn’t fast enough for me so I told her I would do it because I needed it done before I could laugh about my encounter with the tree. Last year I actually vacuumed the tree prior to putting the ornaments on because the needles were everywhere but this year’s tree kept its needles until the end. I will assume that is due to the mass amount of sap it seemed to have.

Vacuuming is done and I’m feeling much better so I go to try and clean the sap off my hands. This is when I look in the mirror to find my face covered with remnants of the tree. All over my face, in my hair and in my EARS! I guess I’m not really surprised since my face was balancing the tree at one point.

So the first step in the post holiday clean up is done. I’m off to finish packing up more of the holiday decorations. Hope you have as much fun as I did getting the tree out of your home.