Labor Day weekend at the Beach

The end of last week had me grumpy and I even had second thoughts about going to the beach. I couldn’t stay home though because it would have been depressing. I was down, partly, because it seemed there was no way I could make it in time for happy hour. So in an attempt to get to the beach as soon as possible I offered to drop Mini Red at her Dad’s. The drive to her Dad’s seemed to have the most traffic and in total I spent over four hours trying to get to the beach. My saving grace was The Folks got a bushel of crabs and it was ready and waiting for me when I got there. I took a pull from the kegerator and copped a squat to enjoy the feast.

After crabs I put fresh sheets on the beds and climbed in with Harry Potter… The book not the boy. I was near the end and dying to finish so I could be an all knowing Harry Potter reader. The problem is I couldn’t keep my eyes open but I fought it until I could fight no more. When I finally turned the lights out I could feel my eyes shaking due to fighting to keep them open.

Saturday, we were all up at a reasonable time. Dad and I made egg sandwiches for everyone and we needed to be across the street by 10 for our 10:30 appointment to rent wave runners. The last time I did this I drove and Dad was on the back. This time Mom was driving and I was on the back. Plus this time we didn’t have to make our way through the channel, which was a bit frightening for a first timer. We got out to the marked area for our hour of fun. Mom would take off but then stop rather quickly because she couldn’t see a thing due to all the water in her face. So I took her sunglasses and put them on so she could try without the sunglasses but that was worse and her eyes were burning from the bay water. We decided to trade places and let me have a shot at driving. The switch was a bit scary when Ma stood up but we made the switch without her falling in. It took some getting used to especially with all the water splashing in my face. At first I think Ma was a bit scared because I would turn my head to protect my face from the oncoming water. This way I would have at least one good eye at all times but the water was so choppy I had to just shake it off and keep going knowing that as we went faster we would skim the top of the waves and there would be less water in the face. I mean talk about multitasking: Water in the face, oncoming boats and various water vehicles, making sure Ma didn’t fly off oh and the buoys. We had to stay within these four buoys that were our parameters, which seemed to be a large area at first but when you get going you had to stop because you reached the end. It didn’t take me long to get the hang of it and I would take off because I wanted to see how fast I could get this thing going. The problem is Ma would start laughing so hard, which would get me laughing and a wave would hit and I would swallow a ton of water which would make me laugh more. Or we would just get laughing so hard I would have to stop. I was so determined to get up to at least 40mph that I would lean forward and grit my teeth and hold on tight and just push it. Meanwhile, Mom was hanging on for dear life and when we would go flying we would both lift off the seat and she would scream for me to stop. Oh my, I have tears running down my face as I type this.

Knowing that there wasn’t much time left Ma and I switched so she could have a whirl in the drivers seat again. I was nervous with her driving and I tried not to be an annoying backseat driver. When time was up Ma drove us back in and as they helped us park the wave runner Ma hollered to Dad that she was ready to buy one. When we got on dry land all four of us realized how sore we were and we were shaking. Every muscle was used from the hands and arms to drive and steer as well as legs and hips for just holding on.

We got back to the condo and decided to pull out the left over crabs for lunch but first I had to finish Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. It didn’t take me long to finish and I was able to enjoy the end without having heard any spoilers. When I sat down to eat crabs it wasn’t as easy as usual because I was so sore right down to my fingertips.

Ma headed off to the craft show at the Convention Center but the walk back proved difficult after the day’s events. Dad needed to get a new cable box because the one he had was acting up and it was a weekend of football. Dad was in heaven: beach, football, beer and family. Only something was missing… Brotha Man, Sil and Little Man. I guess that makes three things missing. Brotha Man and Sil haven’t made it to the beach at all this summer but they had something better going on… they have been having fun with their new Little Man.

So as Ma and Dad headed off to do their own thing Sis, Chase and I headed to Seacrets. Instead of sitting at or near the water we were able to procure some seats at one of the bars and smack dab in front of a couple of TV’s so we could watch the VA Tech / ECU game. Seal, a friend of Brotha Man and Godfather to Little Man, showed up carrying his version of a man purse and not like a beach bag either. We teased him but he took it well because he had necessities to carry like his inhaler, which is very important and you would understand if you saw all the hot chicks in bikinis. Seacrets was crazy busy and there was so much going on and each of us were doing our own thing.

Sis and I ventured around and found Teacher had arrived and he quickly got going to the tune of “Dude looks like a Lady” while wearing a woman’s top/dress no less. The women, the drunken women, just flock to him. We once saw an older, wrinkly drunk woman in a bikini attacking him and he had to have his boys help save him from the Cougar.
The great thing about Seacrets is you will find all kinds of interesting people and they tend to loose their inhibitions. Let’s take for example the dude who looks like he had portions of his chest waxed just like in “The Forty Year Old Virgin”. I think he noticed me taking pictures and that’s when he put his shirt on. I didn’t feel bad because if you put it out there then you need to deal with it or else don’t put it out there.
Back at the bar a dude came up to asking the bartender a question and he got all pissy when the bartender said he couldn’t hear him because the blender was running. It wasn’t long before the guy was back and standing behind me still being a jack ass to the bartender. This time the bartender said something and the pissy dude finally understood and apologized. The third time the guy came back he said something to me and asked why I was giving him the eye. I told him I didn’t know what he was talking about but when he mentioned the rift between him and the bartender I said, “Oh you’re the one being a jack ass to the bartender. Beware cause I’m his body guard.” He took my ribbing well and we chatted for a bit. I found out he is Sam the Palestinian from Bethesda and he had this booger in his nose. The booger was still there when he came back later but there is no way I could have said anything. I hate when that shit happens and you can’t help but just stare at it with a fear he might laugh and shoot it on you.

More friends of Sis showed up and Seal and friend left. It was interesting to watch the people sitting around the bar since they seemed older. I found it interesting that some of these women would get so done up to sit at a bar in the afternoon when so many are nearly naked. It must be their age, which is right around my age I would guess. I was so opposite of them because I think I had all of mascara on. I had taken a shower after the wave runners but didn’t wash my hair which was up in a ponytail and I had my visor on. I wore some of my shorter shorts and a tank top and Sis and Chase tell me I was hit on a lot. Chase said I was the flame and they were the moths. I didn’t remember it being like that but there was this other man who was sitting next to us and joining in on our conversations. He made comments on my pink toes and I think he even asked for my number a few times. He was a nice enough guy but since I had been drinking it was easier to thwart his advances.

I had reached my limit of alcohol so I got some water and ventured around Seacrets on my own. This is when I came upon the Sexual Position Competition. The rules were: two people of the opposite sex were to link arms back-to-back. They had to dance like this and when the music stopped they had to find another person of the opposite sex and get in a sexual position. The better the creativity the longer you lasted in the competition. The winners got t-shirts and maybe a little turned on and I got some great photos.

I headed back to where Sis and Chase were and they were surprised to see me. Sis thought for sure I had left since I was gone so long. At this point I was done and I wasn’t gonna drink anymore so I left and headed back to the Condo. The Folks weren’t there and I figured they were at Macky’s. So as I was trying to decide my next move I sent a drunk text before I headed off to bed. When in doubt catch up with your sleep… right?

I woke up around 11:30pm with a nice headache and Sis and Chase walked in shortly thereafter from their night out at another bar after Seacrets. I was wishing I hadn’t sent that text message so I made sure I deleted all traces of that phone number. I’m not such a hard ass not to believe in second chances but if he’s interested he will let me know because recent events show he still has my number. Anyhow, an inebriated Chase and I sat down and he got all serious talking about the attention I seemed to attract today and what is it with guys. He hit the nail on the head when he asked if I thought dudes get put off because I’m a Mom. At this point I changed the subject because last year at the beach after an evening at one of the bars Chase was telling me what a great job I’m doing with Mini Red and he Sis and I had the drunk tears going on. I wasn’t about to let that happen again so instead my thoughts turned to another kind of sadness: the summer at the beach was over and this is the first summer in quite a few years that I didn’t get thrown in the pool by YDH.

It was a beautiful weekend and I'm sad to see the summer go.