Life of Red

Ok so I have been in a serious dating rut. I believe this is because I'm tired of the crap, past bad dates and just don't want to deal with it. But then again I would love to find someone to hang out with... etal.

So I have decided to try and put myself out there and give speed dating a try.

I was telling TOG (The Old Guy) about it this morning and he was shocked. He had never heard of such a thing. I explained that for me it was like two or three years worth of dating in one night and less money. I went on to tell him how the whole thing worked and they had age bracket for each session. TOG said, "What? 8-80, blind, cripple or crazy. All are welcome?" I laughed so hard it almost made me snort.

So tonight I went to a Singles Pizza Party. Woohoo!

Online it says:
Come spend and evening getting to know Metro DC's most desirable singles for a night of laughs and good times. See for yourself...Don't miss out on meeting that special someone. They're wanting to meet you! Pizza will be on us!

Space is limited. So sign up now!

And check out that photo. The Beautiful People! Definitely not this group.

I arrived early and seriously thought about turning around and leaving but I didn't. Yeah me! I walk in and sign in and suddenly everyone I had been trying to call is calling me back. Slut says, "Your doing speed dating?" He quickly turns it around and says, "Hey that sounds like fun. Just act like me!"

So there are 11 Dudes and 11 Chicks, but two men and one woman were a no show. We all had numbers with our names and each table was numbered and had a green folder and a yellow folder. We were told to find our table matching our number and the women sit at the yellow folder and the men sit at the green.

I was number 11 and I was sitting by myself. Finally Mr. #11 walked in and looked as if he didn't want to sit at my table. We chatted as they gave us our instructions. After five minutes they ring the bell once and this is your 1 minute warning. After a minute they ring the bell twice and the dudes move up a number to the next chick.

First things first. "Yuengling please!"

#11 is a very nice guy, has his own business and is always working not-to-mention he is shy. Oh and he is a local.

Next round I was skipped due to lack of males.

#7 Also nice (they were all nice). Extremely weak handshake and wearing suspenders. Oye! Where is that double ding?

#8 is a really fun guy, I really enjoyed talking to him and we had fun but he's the size of my right leg.

#6 was cool. He talked about scuba diving and he is certified. Asked me if I was and I said "Nope, just certifiable." I don't think he got it. We are both local to the area and he was surprised I knew of Harris Crab House. I figured everyone knew of Harris but he said no and he bet me a beer that none of the other women would have heard of it.

I was skipped again. "Yuengling please! Oh and a water. Boy, it's hot in here"

#4 was odd. The hair was obviously dyed, and he shook. I wasn't sure if it was something like parkinsons or if he was nervous. So I just let him talk and that seemed to please him. When the bell double dinged and the pizza was there he bolted.

So it's break time and the pizza is there. I grab a slice along with my next beer and copped a squat back at my #11 table. #7 soon joined me. Joy! I finish up and run to the ladies room to freshen up. I get back to find #9 at my table.

#9 seemed a bit nervous he wouldn't get his full time since I was a bit late. No worries they haven't officially started yet. He turns out to be a nice guy who is into kayaking. When I mention I'm a Mom he asks if this is a theme for tonight since there are three others. He quickly turns it around telling me how impressed he is by single moms and how hard we work. I get the distinct impression he is blowing smoke up my ass.

#2 was nice and I enjoyed talking to him but he was definitely not my type. We talked about biking since I have been looking to purchase and he gave me some great bike purchasing advice.

#1 is newly divorced and had the lines lined up... LITERALLY! And the "If you pick me…" was said several times. He will make me laugh because he will just be himself and he is a funny charming guy… so he tells me. That's if I… pick him. I told him my theory on divorced people having a harder time meeting someone because no matter how bad the marriage was there was a comfort zone. Many divorced people want to be in that comfort zone but with someone better. So they sometimes act too quickly and rush relationships. His reply was a joke and "If you pick me…"

So the night is over and #10 realizes he didn't get to sit with me so we chat as they give instructions. All I got was he lives in Columbia. Sorry guy.

I reminded #6 of our bet and he tracked down the other three single moms. He introduced me and none of them had heard of Harris Crab House or even Kent Island for that matter. He tells me my bill is getting bigger for the beers I owe him and he goes back inside. The ladies and I chat and I now have some new friends. We noticed a few of the guys at the bar inside and we decided to walk each other out.

Interesting evening but I don't think I will be doing this again. I've decided that men that go to these things are not the type of men I want to meet.

**I did mark down one dude that I wouldn't mind getting contacted by. We'll see???

The Day of Evil started off well. Mini Red was having Maniac Day at school. This started with a book her class read this year called Maniac Magee. They were all dressing up weird and she wanted to do something funky with her hair. After she washed it I put all sorts of goop in it and dried it upside down. I then used extra strength hair spray and teased her hair. In the end we threw in a few ponytails in the front because I thought her hair was looking too good. She threw on a big t-shirt and some sweat pants with flops. Oh and I almost forgot her blue scarf. She looked so cute and comfortable… I was jealous.

All this fun quickly made me late and put Mini Red in a fun spazola mode. She was now useless to help me finish what needed to be done before we left. Maybe it was from the hairspray fumes? Or is it just because it's The Day of Evil? Hmmm?

I was dreading going to work with all our connectivity issues we've been having this week. I called the office on my way in to see how the system was working so maybe I could prepare myself. Damn this Day of Evil sixes! Our network got worse before it got better but finally everything was working (thanks IT Dudes), but then I had to leave.

Off to the Doctor, Oh Joy Oh Joy! Mom has been complaining "Honey you need to get your freckles checked because you don't have a man in your life to help keep an eye on them for you." Nice... real nice. I finally went in and had the full body check last week. Evidently, I have a freckle that may have turned to the dark side and now they need to take a piece of me. More joy for this Day of Evil. A needle and clip, clip on Red all in a place I can't reach. This is where Mini Red can redeem herself and be Momma's "Band-Aid Putter-Onner".

Oh Lord, I sound like one of those Grannies who says, "Honey come rub Granny's bunions and I'll give ya a big qwarter."

Now comes the exciting part of the day… I finally bought a laptop. Mom and I sat down to review specs and prices of Dell computers and we bought ourselves some computers. She says Dad's gonna Poop cause she's been shopping too much lately. I say, "Let's really make Dad Poop and buy mine for me!"

Next up for Red… A Bicycle! My 12 year old ten-speed is done for. I want to show Mini Red the paths I used to bike as a kid. I can't wait! Reds out biking.

Now all I need is a Sugar Daddy to track my freckles and buy my bicycle. I'm doing a speed dating thing on Thursday (terrifying) maybe I can find that Sugar Daddy there?

I guess The Day of Evil wasn't so bad after all.