Ok so I need to do some catch up here…

After posting “Yeah I got a Name for this type of Dude” Sis, Mini Red and I headed to the White Marlin Open where I bumped into Boating Man. He was shocked to see me and found out we had friends in common. Meanwhile, the winning Blue Marlin was brought in weighing 632.5 lbs.

Mini Red had three surfing lessons during our vacation. She was amazing and by the third lesson she rode a wave in. I enjoyed sitting on the beach drinking my coffee and taking photos not only Mini Red surfing but all the surfers. It was beautiful.

Mini Red stayed at the beach with Ma while I headed back for a week of work. I was so jealous but I was back the next Friday and I made it in time for Happy Hour at Macky's. That weekend Mini Red and I had a lot of fun digging a big hole on the beach and playing Pirate Golf. I thought I might have captured our Christmas photo but Mini Red’s face is obscured by her hair.

That Sunday I had to take her to her Dad’s where she would stay for another week away. We spoke every day and it seems she didn’t do a whole lot but then again it was her last week of Summer Holiday.

Finally, this past Friday Mini Red came home and to top it off she presented me with a beautiful silver heart necklace for my birthday. I spent the evening working til late while she got unpacked and organized so we could have a fun weekend before school started.

First thing, Saturday, we were off to get school supplies and Target was crazy town. We got our errands completed in time for the pool party and we couldn’t have asked for a better time. Everyone was playing in the pool and got out just as the food was being brought off the grill and a big storm blew in. We met lots of new people and even tried goat meat kabobs. One of the families has a goat farm and the goat meat was awesome.

Sunday, we relaxed, caught the movie The Nanny Diaries and got ready for the first day of school. The movie was great but Mini Red and I had a tough time sleeping Sunday night. Mini Red and I were both a little nervous about the first day of school plus I had the beginning of three days of training I have to do. It’s always a little nerve wracking standing up in front of a bunch of people teaching them a few things to help them do their job better.

Monday, Mini Red and I headed out with dark circles under our eyes but our fears of the day proved unfounded. She has reconnected with some friends and my training preparation day proved I’m ready to teach for the next two days.

Next weekend I am back at the beach and the plans call for Seacrets and some Pain in De Asses. I can’t wait!

Oye! I did it again!

I signed up for my next college class, Illustrator with Vector Graphics. I hear this is a tough one.

Nothing like waiting until the last minute, huh? The last class was tough on my schedule since it was twice a week 5 hours each night, whereas this class is on Thursday's... I think. I can't seem to find a key on the website but I think R stands for Thursday.

By having class on Thursdays I will be missing out on a few things:

September 6th Scythian is playing at the Birchmere and I would have taken Mini Red even though it's a school night.

September 20th is Ladies Night Out with the Nationals.

Thursdays are also the night for Grey's Anatomy. Not sure when that will start up again but at least I can catch the shows online.

Then again after I complete this class there will be my spring class which will fulfil my required courses. Then on to the electives and I don't believe those class are as long as these classes. I don't mind missing a few things because the biggest reward is setting an example for Mini Red.

In case you missed it...

Gunfighter did a great post about his love of boobies and their presentation.

I know many of you have the same love for this body part so I urge you to read what he had to say.

Go here and tell him Red sent ya.

EZ for who?

New Shoes

A co-worker of mine has been known in the office for his bright green shoes. I’ve gotten so used to him wearing these shoes that I even, at times, associate the color green with him.

Recently, he was in need of a new pair of shoes and was unable to find the green shoes. He has instead opted for blue shoes and I'm having a hard time getting used to them. It doesn’t help that they are an electric blue and parts of them are shiny.
When a few of us stepped out to lunch Tuesday I mentioned that I’m having a hard time getting used to his shoes. He said he’s noticed they are distracting to people probably due to how shiny they are. Just the other day he was in his Father’s office and was introduced to one of his Father’s co-workers. The man kept looking down at his shoes and he said he felt like telling him, “Hey Man! My face is up here.”

“Welcome to my world!”

The Gift

The Folks always ask us what we want for our birthdays. I always ask for something I just can bring myself to purchase for me. This year I wanted an XM Radio since I’m in the car so damn much. It’s not like it’s that expensive but it seems somewhat frivolous and I haven’t been able to bring myself to buy it.

I didn’t know which one to get but just like with Mom’s camera for her birthday there is always some sort of authority within the family. I figured The Folks would get the 411 from Brotha Man and they did. Due to the vacations and Mom living at the beach for the summer they gave me the info from Brotha Man and a check.

So I googled the Delphi SKYFi2 and started comparing prices. It’s so overwhelming that it reminded me of Robin Williams in the movie Moscow on the Hudson when he went to the grocery store to get toilet paper. There were so many choices that he couldn’t decide, freaked out, let out a little scream and passed out right there in the toilet paper isle. The price ranges for the radios go from one extreme to the next and the places with the lowest prices are places with names like Cheap-For-U. Not so sure I want to purchase from some of those online places for fear of someone stealing my Red identity.

What to do? Who would know? Brotha Man! I called Brotha Man and he gave me the 411 and told me he got Dad’s XM at Best Buy and suggested I go there first. So that’s where I was gonna go.

After work I decided to go to the Best Buy at Potomac Yards in Alexandria. As I walked in the store two young'uns were standing at a table doing some promotional thing. One said he liked my chain as he pointed to my necklace. This is one of those moments when I wish I had the clit to say what was on my mind. Like maybe… “I saw you staring at my chest so stop playing like you weren’t! Oh and it’s not a chain is what we call a necklace.” Can you imagine what kind of look that might bring to their faces?

This store had virtually nothing in regards to XM radios and that meant nada for me. The guy tells me they are phasing the Delphi SKYFi2’s out and all the stores have them on clearance. He finally tells me he can look and see if there are any other stores that have them in stock. A few have only one but he warns me that is probably the floor model. He suggests I go home and call around. Harumph!

I noticed on his list that the Arundel Mills store has quite a few in stock. For a split second I thought of calling FN to see if he would get it from the Arundel Mills store for me. I nearly laughed out loud at myself for thinking that. I then noticed that the Germantown store had four. So I left Alexandria and headed to Germantown. For those of you not from around here that is about and hour drive when there is NO traffic.

At this point it’s after seven and I just wanted to be home and chillin but I also wanted to get this radio or I never would. The thing about heading to this Germantown store was I could probably throw a stick and hit Brotha Man’s house but I feared it was too late and if the baby wasn’t asleep then SIL definitely would be. It was odd to be in their neck of the woods and not stop by to squeeze the new little man in my life. Gawd he's cute!

I got there and found the radio right off the bat. Seemed almost too easy so I looked for one of the blue shirted peeps so I can confirm this is all I needed and it has all the parts necessary to mount it in my car. If you know Best Buy then you know it isn’t easy to get help. So I’m standing there waiting my turn. The Blue Shirt Dude is on the phone, on hold, and tells me he will be with me in a minute. At first I thought he told me someone else was in front of me and I was quick to correct him but in fact he was trying to state I was next. I felt silly so I got chatty and stated I wouldn’t take up much of his time. So his customer says, “Well maybe I can help you? What’s up?”

This flusters me so I say, “I’ve just driven from Alexandria and want to make sure this is all I need and I live in K-Town but I’m here in Germantown.”

What did I just say? That made no sense!

[Translation: I've been all over God's half acre in my attempts to get this radio. Please tell me this is all I need so I can go home.]

You should have seen the look on the dude’s face, but then he tells me he works in K-Town at Trick Trucks. Cool! This means he might know a thing or two about these thingys that get installed in them there cars.

So he reads the box to me, which I’ve already read. Confirms some things for me, which are stated on the box. He might as well have patted me on the hiney as he sent me on my way.

I kinda felt stoopid but you know… I really don’t care. As I walked to the cashier I still felt as if I’m missing something about this radio. I guess I’ll worry about it tomorrow because I’m done.

At least I have the radio and that is one of my many tasks that are done. Mini Red is at her Dad’s this week and so I have a limited amount of time to get some things done before the end of the week. This also makes the time go by faster cause I miss her too much.

What puts you in near hysterics laughing?

Watching Gene Simmons Family Jewels episode "Fact or Fiction".


They're in Vegas for a wedding and Gene is hanging with Carrot Top who is making props for his show. He's making jail bars out of vibrators for what he calls "Paris Hilton in Jail". He walks away to grab something and Gene picks up the vibrator not realizing there is epoxy glue on it.


He is able to pry his fingers off but the palm of his hand is stuck. He starts shaking his hand and it looks like he is trying to jerk off.


I'm laughing so loud I'm sure I'm disturbing my neighbors.


Gene gets back to his hotel and calls for a nurse who gave a little chuckle but then got serious. She said she had seen vibrators stuck before but never like this.

This is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time

What a day for the record books!

August 16th

Elvis has been dead for 30 YEARS!!! I remember when he died. I was so sad. I was at the beach with all my cousins and they would laugh and talk about how he died taking a poop. I was mad at them for talking that way about the King.

We all got over it and sat down to have Othello marathons.

Today is also Madonna’s birthday she is 49. I can’t believe this woman will be 50 next year.

It is also Frank and Kathie Lee Giffords birthday’s. Yes both of them. He was born 1930 and she was born 1953. I find it odd to marry someone with the same birthday. They should have gotten married on August 16th too.

See today is a remarkable day.

Ohh yeah…

It’s my birthday too!

FY your Eye: It’s not too late to catch some flicks outdoors

The NIH Film Festival is still going on with a showing of the Devil Wears Prada tonight and an advanced screening of Resurrecting the Champ tomorrow the 16th. The last night of this film festival is Sunday and they will be showing Happy Feet. I’m not into cutesie flicks but this is a good one.

There’s also the Clint Eastwood Film Festival. In Crystal City it on Monday Nights through August 20th and in Rosslyn it’s on Fridays through August 31st. They encourage you to dress like a cowboy since prizes will be given for the best costume.

Bethesda had a film festival but that has ended as well as Alexandria’s.

Columbia Lakefront Film Festival is still going through August 31st

Check here to see if there it one in your area.

My plan is to run/walk with Mrs. M tonight then maybe I’ll bike over to see the Devil Wears Prada.

Remember most of these events are to raise money for charities so you should at the very least buy some popcorn or some ice cream from them.

Red is red and Mini Red is too!

Monday, August 6th, was deemed The Day of Family Fun. Yes my Father is Clark W. Griswold. It was Ma’s Birthday and she wanted a Day of Family Fun at Assateague. We packed up food, soda, wine and chicken necks in the cooler. We grabbed the buckets, string and weights for crabbing along with the clam rake. On top of the vehicle we secured the kayak, hopped in, buckled up and we were off.

The Folks settled on an area on the bay side of Assateague where we could do everything including: crabbing, kayaking clamming and more. Ma and I headed off in the kayak and I was nervous because I had never done this but once before. At least Ma was ready for it this time. There were some horses roaming wild on a little island area. We kayaked up and around the island they were on and they never noticed us. As we rounded the bend and headed back to where we started we had to work hard because the wind was blowing and the current was difficult. By the time I got out of the kayak I was soaked… at least my ass was from sitting in so much water.

Next up was Dad and Sis and they went up and back and didn’t go out for very long. While they were out on their short trip I caught up with Mini Red and we did some crabbing. There was a nice warm breeze and I was hoping my shorts would dry sooner than later. When crabbing you can, usually, feel the little buggers biting but with the wind and current so strong it was difficult to tell if you had something on your line. We were soon joined by a little girl followed by her Mom who was worried her little girl bothering us. It wasn’t long before we were joined by the brother and the Dad and Mini Red was tired of crabbing and getting nothing. I handed over both lines to the little kids and gave them tips as I talked to their Mom. They were down from Connecticut and this was their first time to Assateague Island and the kids loved all the animals they were finding.

The little boy thought he had something on his line and we all got quiet. I tried to stay out of the way since I saw the Dad had his camera out. We saw the end of the line getting closer and before it was clear if he had something I swooped down with the net. HE GOT ONE! We all cheered and probably scared away any living thing in the water near us. It was so exciting and that little boy was so happy. I gathered my lines and we said our goodbyes.

It didn’t feel like we were there that long but we were all tired. On top of that we all realized we had made a mistake. It was overcast for most of the day and the wind kept it cool but we got some sun. Red was red and so was Mini Red and Sis. Ma had enough covering her and Dad just get s dark dark dark.

Before leaving we crossed to the ocean side and trekked over the dunes to check it all out. The wind was so strong that as we crossed over the dunes we were pelted with sand... Ouch! We played in the surf a bit but didn’t go in far because the waves were rough. Personally, I had just dried out so I was just happy getting my feet and legs wet.

As we came back over the dunes we saw them… HORSES! They were in someone’s campsite. Ma ran back to the car for her new camera she got from us. She had to get pictures now that she can. The day was exactly as Ma had wanted and one of her bestest days ever.


We all got cleaned up and had planned on going to the White Marlin Open to see what had been caught on the first day of the open. Plans changed when we found out Sis’s friend T.D. Blue was working and so was an old friend of mine, Bar-D. So the Folks and Mini Red went to the Marlin Open and Sis and I headed out to dinner in Bethany at the Blue Coast. The food was amazing and we caught up with people we hadn’t seen in some time. Next stop was North East up Route 26 to find one my cousin’s but he was bartending at Catch 54, which is the newest of the restaurants owned by a guy I grew up with. Catch 54 has some breath taking views from the lower level as well as the upper level.

On the way home Sis and I recounted the day and a full day it was. We had fun in the sun and ended it with a great meal and catching up with old friends and family we haven’t seen in a while. This was the beginning of a great vacation.

I'm Baaaacccck...

From vacation.

Sans Mini Red.

Don't want to be here.

Don't want to go to work. Kinda scared to go to work, actually.

I guess I have to go to work now.

Vacation stories and pictures coming soon.

I have a secret love crush…

This guy isn’t the normal type of guy I go for. He’s famous and I don’t normally find the famous guys attractive but this dude is intelligent. He's a writer, a chef and has a show on The Travel Channel.

I love that he is well traveled and he has this travel show where he takes you where many have never gone or never will go. There are times he will even get extremely drunk and there are no pretenses about him and loves his cigarettes.

My secret love crush is Anthony (Tony) Bourdain and his show is No Reservations.

I couldn’t even tell you what night his show is on and I just read up on him from Wikipedia and learned a lot about him there. I thought for sure he might be gay but was pleasantly surprised to find out he isn’t.

All I can tell ya is when I catch his show I thoroughly enjoy it because there is something I find incredibly sexy about him. Whatever it is I don’t care I just soak it all up.

A new day and some new views

I welcomed this morning a little late and feeling better.

Thanks for listening to my rant. As a single Mom I don't really have anyone to figure some of these things out with. I guess we could say this blog is like my husband. Hahahaha

My sister finally arrived this afternoon amongst some crappy traffic. We decided to go to Seacrets for happy hour so Mom and Dad headed over and Sis and I caught up with them shortly thereafter. As we walked in this dude yelled and scared the crap outta me. He knew my sister from all the summers she had hung out in Dewey. She tells me no one ever knew his name so everyone started calling him Steve-O. Evidently, he calls her Red and I am a Red Sister. I couldn't believe how packed this place was but we are at the height of the season. By the time we arrived the masses were already very happy.

This place is GREAT for people watching. There were some drunk older women grabbing on some of the hot young'uns. There are some really hot women in bikinis and some really... ummm... not hot women in bikinis. This place is where the beautiful and not so beautiful along with the old and young come to mingle all together.

As I looked out over the masses of drunken people dancing in the water I couldn't help but think it was more like an orgy. People out in the water were dancing and lounging on the floats as they are served alcohol. There have been times in the past where a couple on a float start getting frisky and suddenly realize where they are. I guess the whole motion of the ocean bay has something to do with it not to mention all the nearly nekkid people.

If you've never been to Seacrets then you definitely have to check it out sometime but give yourself several days and several different times of the day. Each part of the day brings something new and the frozen drinks, like the Pain in de Ass, will definitely kick your ass and I had a few of those today.

Sis and I picked up a sub from Dumser's on the way back and that was probably the smartest thing since we hadn't eaten much. This all set the scene for me to crash. I didn't even change or wash my face. So now I'm up and I can clean my face and get my butt back to bed because tomorrow is gonna be an early day. Gotta get up early to go get my little Bubbasita (Mini Red) and we have to beat feet back to celebrate Mom's birthday.

Is it bad...

That I don't want to see or hear anything about this bridge collapsing in Minneapolis?

The news has been on the background and I catch bits and pieces and it's all so tragic. The news people thrive on anything tragic.

Up next... Ving Rhames dog mauls man to death.

Has it begun yet?

I am one grumpy ass beotch that is in desperate need of a vacation.

I have arrived at the beach with minimal difficulty and finally decided to stay.

Ok let me back up.

I called the lizard sitter to make sure I could bring Kima in. They’ve always told me just to come in but I like to call to be sure. This time I wasn’t gonna call but decided to at the last minute and a good thing it was too. They said they were full. Oh no! The dude then asked my name and said, “Kima! For you we can take her”. Phew. I knew I could call my cousin and he had offered just this morning but I felt I would be putting his wife out if I did impose that on them. My cousin loves Kima and would probably sit there every evening and let her crawl all over him. So I finished up some difficult work and was glad some servers went down since this is the perfect excuse to give myself a break and get the hell outta dodge and onto the vacation. I had errands to run and the first thing was to take Kima to the lizard sitter.

I walked into the store (the sitters) with Kima on my shoulder and there were a bunch of guys standing around looking a bit green. A bearded dragon, which was there for lizard sitting, was on the counter and releasing his business and here I come with yet another beardie. I trust this place to take good care of Kima but I can’t help but still worry because I am a Mom and that’s my job. It's just like I don’t think anyone can take care of Mini Red like I can.

So off to the next stop, which is to get new plastic flops for Mini Red at Target. These are inexpensive, good for the pool, the shower at the pool and so she is living in them this summer. I also picked up some inexpensive beach shoes that will be needed when we all go to Assateague on Monday. For Mom’s birthday she wants a day at Assateague clamming, kayaking and crabbing. The plan is to pack up food and wine and set up shop on the beach where we can put the kayak in and wade in the water searching for clams. Sometimes we find crabs but this isn’t the area we normally go crabbing in. The shoes will be useful when wading in the water among the slimy sand. Last time I didn’t have shoes but I found the most clams.

The next stop… I decided against. Time to get back home finish cleaning and grab the rest of the stuff and get on the road. This took me longer than expected and I wasn’t looking forward to the drive. I was pleasantly surprised at how well the Beltway was moving and made it to the Bay Bridge in just under and hour. Traffic at this point was thick but moving. I found myself enjoying driving without the radio or music and was just getting lost in my own thoughts. This isn’t such a good thing at times. I started thinking about all the things I hope Mini Red remembered to pack. Plus trying to figure out any of the plans just for the weekend. I missed happy hour and that was bumming me out because that meant I would arrive and be hanging out by myself since the folks would be in bed. I started calling Sis to see what the plans were for Saturday because I only heard bits and pieces at family dinner night. She was frustrated with work and all the things she had to do and wouldn’t be heading out til Saturday. I really understood how she was feeling. I finally got a hold of Mini Red to double check on the things I figured she forgot and I was right. I was bothered by this but I knew I would be and this is why I did it now… So I would be over it sooner than later.

This has been a week of frustrations with Mini Red that have cost me money too. I can’t tell you how many times I reminded her of something she need to pack or think of packing and how many times she would tell me she was done. On top of that we keep arguing over her incredibly messy room. I’m not asking for perfection in any of these things but when I buy her board shorts for upcoming surf lessons and she neglects to bring them or extra bathing suits I can’t help but feel like banging my head against a wall. The surf lessons are the BIG thing this vacation and these items should have been a no brainer and I know I asked her about the suits. She needs to learn her own lessons as I did but then this will probably mean more money wasted. Those shorts won’t be worn any other time this summer and she will have outgrown them by next summer.

Just as I’m hearing all this from Mini Red traffic starts getting stoopid and numb nuts behind me had his fog lights and high beams on. I’m in the slow lane and the fast lane is open and he is right up my ass and won’t go around. Traffic is getting thicker the closer I got to O.C. but I just wanted to turn around and go home. If I weren’t so close I would have. Part of that is due to the fact that I have to drive nearly home on Sunday to pick up Mini Red from her Dad’s and drive back to the beach for about six hours on the road. So vacation isn’t going to really start until I can get out of the damn CAR!

I drive so much and part is due to where my office is but even more lately due to the location of Mini Red’s camp. This is her favorite camp so I do what I can to make it happen. So I’m feeling very over worked over driven and I’m in desperate need of a break from it all. The small things I need from Mini Red like upkeep on her room and to remember what she needs just for surfing is irking me. It makes you wonder why you even bother. I know I will feel better and have it figured out by tomorrow but right now I can’t help but feel Mini Red is in need of learning a lesson. She is spoiled and needs to learn how to do some things for herself now that she is nearly a teenager.

So getting here… On my vacation has taken some doing and I don’t feel like I’m really here yet. I have been working my butt off at work, school and home and feel this vacation is very much deserved. For Mini Red it’s her summer vacation and she hasn’t gotten to sleep in and the schedule was crazy while I was in school. Then again she still hasn’t had any responsibilities. I guess I’m just feeling as if I’m the only one working for a vacation here.

So when do you say, “Say la vie. This is the job of the Mom.” When do you put your foot down and stop getting walked all over and teach your child a lesson. Don’t get me wrong Mini Red is a good girl. One of the better kids out there in the world but I’m talking about a lesson to keep her that way and to help her for when she becomes an adult. This could be one of those lessons that she remembers for the rest of her life.

The vacation that Mom took the surf lessons away.

What's the best way to say it?

abdicate, abscond, absent, adieu, adios, bail out, beat it, blast off, blow, bound, bye-bye, cheerio, ciao, cut lose, cut out, dart, dash, decamp, decampment, departing, desert, desertion, disappear, ditch, drop out, dump, egress, eighty-eights, embarkation, emigration, escape, evacuation, exit, exodus, expatriation, farewell, farewell, flee, flight, flight, fly, get away, getaway, git, gluckliche Reise, go away, go forth, go, Godspeed, going away, going, goodbye, hegira, hightail, hurtle, jump off, jump, kiss goodbye, later, leap, leave flat, make feet, make off, make tracks, march out, migrate, migration, move on, move out, opt out, part, parting, passage, perish, pleasant journey, powder, pull out, removal, remove, retreat, rush, sailing, sally forth, say goodbye, scamper, scoot, scram, secede, send-off, separation, set forth, setting forth, setting out, shove off, skedaddle, skip, slip away, so long, split, spring, sprint, stampede, start out, start, starting,startle, take flight, take leave, take off, taking leave, tergiversate, toodle-oo, troop, tsetchem leshalom, vacate, vanish, vanishing act, walkout, withdraw, withdrawal, withdrawing.

VACATION!

As of now!

Ohhhh, I'm feeling a pain in my chest

A bunch of us were chit chatting around the water cooler about things like carpal tunnel due to our computer use and what we do alleviate it. A new employee/co-worker didn't understand why anyone would have these issues.

I said, "Well, when you're almost 40 and been working on computers as some of us you'll see what we mean."

He replied, "You're not 40!"

"I'll be 39 in a few weeks... Close enough."

"You're the same age as my Mom!"

"Oh My Jesus! I think my heart is attacking me!!!!"

I can't believe I'm old enough that I could have a kid old enough to be in the work force with other adults. This new dude is not starting off on the right foot with me.