Updated Clinton Pez Dispenser

Per your suggestion, Washington Cube, I have made some adjustments to the pez dispenser:

Cleaning up, Cleaning out... Look what I found

I've been cleaning out old emails and came across this...

Blah blah blah Tuesday

Today, I got some good news that has brought me more joy than I have experienced in a long time. I am taking action to protect myself, but more importantly, Mini Red. There are times when you feel so beat down that you figure there is no hope and you have so many doubts about yourself. At one point I even said to Mom, “Am I being delusional and should I just give up or is it a valid concern that he is wrong in his actions?” She said I was right and should do whatever is necessary to protect Mini Red and myself and she and Dad are there to back me up. I had to then ask her if maybe she was biased. She paused, laughed, and said “No!” So after today I have the beginning of my resolution to settle this crap and with any luck maybe I can scare the fuck outta of the bastard. One can only hope.

I hate the grocery store! But I needed supplies for two lasagnas and a few other items such as fruit and a Brita filter for my faucet but when the bill comes to over $100 I can’t help but feel frustrated. It adds up so fast with the filter at $20, ground beef at $10, and dinner being Shrimp at $7 plus I spent at least $20 on fruit. Gas prices go down and the grocery store jacks em up. You just can’t win.

One of the lasagnas is for my cousin and his wife who watered my plants while I was on vacation. Thank goodness they did because my jasmine is blooming again and they smell wonderful. The other is for my sister’s boyfriend who is coming over Wednesday to sit with Mini Red while my sister and I go out.

Going out on a Wednesday is unusual but it’s a special occasion. YDH is performing at The Baltimore Comedy Factory competing for Baltimore’s Funniest Person. The last time he did this was two years ago and our boss got a limo for us. He even had it come to Maryland to pick up a few of us. He filled it with alcohol and sent us off telling us to have a good time. And that we did.

Mini Red seems to have plans of her own though. She called my Sister’s boyfriend tonight and reminded him of the pool here so he might want to bring his swimsuit. She also asked him, “Have you ever heard of my Mom’s world famous lasagna? No? Well, she is making some for us for tomorrow night.”

We dropped off the lasagna to my cousin’s and get home to find my phone ringing. My friend Ra’s husband is really sick and they don’t know what is wrong. His fever spiked to 104 today and scared them. She had tried to call me earlier but I accidentally left my phone at home. She just wanted to talk to a friend and know that someone would come over and sit at the house with her two boys if she had to take her husband to the emergency room in the middle of the night. Since I wasn’t answering she called another friend who is a friend of her husband’s. She was amazed at how short this woman was with her and hung up on her when she was just asking for some help. The kicker is this woman is what Ra calls a “Bible Thumper”. Wouldn’t this be the type of person who would jump to help a friend out rather than lecture them and hang up? You can go to church all you want but you need to practice what you preach. For me to help I would need to gather up Mini Red, but you know what… that’s no problem. My friend is in need and all she needs to do is ask.

So I had Mini Red pull her clothes out just incase we had to run out in the middle of the night. I kissed her good night. Put the second lasagna in the fridge and cleaned up.

Time for bed!

Sleep tight
Don’t let the bed bugs bite
But if they do
Hit em with a shoe
And they will be black and blue

Burping does not attract quality men

Seven years ago I moved home and became a single Mom. My friend Chrissy dragged me to a party one weekend. Well not really dragged… I was excited to get out… anywhere.

Her friend Mark and his roommates, a married couple, were having a party at their house in Friendship Heights. The three hosts were dressed in sheets, they said it was supposed to be a toga party and realized they must have forgotten to tell people. They were the only ones in togas and could have easily walked upstairs and changed but they seemed to prefer their togas.

I don’t know how it got started but I ended up in a burping contest on the front porch with the hostess, who was in toga. As we were belching our hearts out a crowd grew and I noticed two things. First, burping has become more difficult for me due to age or just being out of practice. Second, the dude sitting on the porch swing at about eye level with my chest… staring intently at my chest as I would heave to produce my burps.

The hostess realized she had met her match and was unable to surpass my talent. She expressed how impressed she was and requested a photo of us together to document her demise. The dude sitting on the porch swing asked for my number. How could I refuse? He just heard (and watched) me do the most un-lady like thing a woman could do and asked for my number. So I obliged.

The dude and I spoke maybe all of twice on the phone. I learned that he wrote for a travel magazine, yet never traveled. I found that very odd but was afraid to ask. It didn't take long to realize what a meek man he was. The best I can figure is maybe he thought I could provide some fun and excitement in his life. What better woman to do that than the one who won the belching contest.

Yeah… Ummmm… I don’t think so.

Our Trip to The Convent

We left right on time but we had to get coffee at Starbucks first. I had two coupons Nicole left for Mini Red for the new Tangerine Frappuccinos.

We got our order and when we left we noticed the man outside. We see him all the time around our neighborhood and just the day before, as we walked to the Big Pickle, Mini Red wanted to cross further up the street to avoid walking near him, but I didn’t see any reason to do that. So as we were getting in the car I suggested to Mini Red that she offer him the other coupon for a free drink. I watched as she walked up to him I realized I had never looked at his face before. He didn’t look as old as I thought he was. His dreads are grey and he is very thin and slightly hunched, but he has a wonderful smile.

I leaned out of the car and assured him the coupon would give him a free drink since we had just used one. He nodded and thanked us and went in. Mini Red got in the car and said, “Mom he was so nice. When I offered him the coupon he smiled and said, “Thank you I really need a drink.” Mom, that really felt good!” We discussed this man and other people living on the streets. I realized that I have never seen this man as disruptive in any way. I told Mini Red that I have always hesitated to give money to people on the streets. I work hard to support her and often you hear that people are begging for the wrong reasons. I told her about a man I would see at my last job. I would offer him a sandwich or purchase a little something extra when out to lunch and he was always so grateful. Then there’s a woman near where I work now and she is always in everyone’s face. It’s always easier to help someone who isn’t in your face.

We decided to look into other ways we can help people, maybe volunteering? I think this will teach Mini Red and me a lot and maybe we can be a little friendlier to our homeless neighbor.

We finally got on the road and I got the blow by blow of Mini Red’s orientation day at Middle School. I’m surprised to hear that her social studies class will be studying the five top religions; Christianity, Buddhist, Judaism, Muslim, and Hindu. I wish she and I could switch places her classes sound so interesting.

It took us two hours to finally get on 81N. Two more hours to go and it was pretty much a straight shot. Route 81N is beautiful! I love the mountains and the views. Thank goodness for cruise control because I would have been flying… more than I already was.

We arrived at Marywood University in just under four hours and my Aunt was tickled pink. We gave her the gifts we had for her and then she put me to work. She was going through some things in her room and it turned to finally just cleaning a lot of stuff out. She didn’t mean for me to work and felt bad but I told her I was family and I was there to do whatever she needed.

She later told me that at 94 she has finally realized she has her limits and needs help with things. I had to laugh when they came to install the phone in her room. She didn’t want one but all the Sisters rooms were getting one. She just looked at the man, sighed and said “Ok.” I guess this was one of those times she realized this wasn’t so bad and not worth fighting.

It’s amazing to watch these women. I could never be a nun. If being a nun was based on celibacy then I would be perfect but their commitment is so much more than that. They lead such a simple life and it doesn’t take much to make them happy. They have no style and they don’t care what they look like. Seeing a chipmunk out the dining hall window brings them so much joy and they all gather around to get a peek. Or a ripe tomato that one of the Sister’s brought back from her family’s farm that is shared with everyone. Their will is so amazing that I’m finding it hard to express how impressed I am with their commitment and faith.

At first I was taken back when they each would say “You’re Welcome”. My first thought was “Are they asking for a thank you for letting us stay there?” I soon realized this was their way of welcoming us. I also learned that when you speak of someone who is alive you bless them and when you speak of someone who has died you have mercy on them. For example they would say, “Sister Magdalene, have mercy on her, cooked the best squash”. This meant she had passed. I noticed it would almost be whispered but no person mention went without some blessing or mercy… God Bless em! Every time we would meet a new Sister we got blessed. I think I’ve had my fill for a good while now.

Our first night was not so good. Neither Mini Red nor I could sleep so Saturday morning we were exhausted. We met up with my aunt in the kitchen and she was ready to cook us eggs. Yeah right… like I’m gonna let this 94 year old woman cook for me! She fought me when I insisted Mini Red and I do the dishes and finally stopped fighting us. In the afternoon we went to the new building to visit some nuns in the assisted living. So many of them remember me as a little girl and I don’t remember any of these women, except for one, but thank goodness I can just refer to all of them as “Sister”. This was such a boring afternoon and I was very proud of Mini Red and her composure considering her lack of sleep. We were then taken to see the Rotunda, which is beautiful. I had no idea this campus had anything like this.

We were so exhausted Saturday night that I fell asleep around 8. By morning I was itching to get out and get home. I feel bad since we are her only family left but Red can only take so much and with all the rain the drive home wasn’t looking promising. We went to mass and brunch and headed out. I was tired of the same stories over and over, my face hurt from smiling and I missed my internet connection.

The mountains on the drive home are so beautiful and I wish I could have captured a photo of the sights from 81S. The fog got impressive but I got in front and headed through. I wanted to get home and as soon as possible. Monday is a big day for Mini Red and we need to shake the weekend off. I was surprised Mini Red didn’t sleep at all on the way home; instead she played her Nintendo DS. She got a big giggle as we were driving through Gettysburg. I noticed a smell in that area and finally realized what it was… it smelled like Beef Jerky!

The weekend was a success! My Aunt was very happy and I tried to just make her happy and do whatever she wanted.

School Days, School Days, Dear Old Golden Rule Days

Today brings another reality to remind me of my age. Mini Red had orientation for Middle School. Yes MIDDLE SCHOOL! I am old enough to have a child in MIDDLE SCHOOL!

This is not your regular Elementary School days. These next three years are getting her ready for High School then College. Oye I need to slow down.

So we walked to the bus stop and she was the only girl, but then again today was only for 6th graders and new students. I was the only parent but soon another parent drove by and hollered at her son to introduce himself to Mini Red. One of the boys she knew from last year said, “Your boyfriend isn’t gonna like your haircut.” I had to laugh but I tried to stay back outta the way and let the kids do their thing cause I wasn’t leaving til I saw her get on the bus. Maybe my new name should be Nervous Nelly, especially, when it comes to Mini Red?

Mini Red and I have already discussed how important this year is for her. This is the year that she will set precedence with her school work. If she works hard then the rest of Middle School and even High School can be easier for her. Thanks goodness I have Mom to help this year.

I walked back realizing it was always hard to put her on that bus but it was getting easier. Maybe I shouldn’t be so worried this year.

I got back to find Kima stretched out over her food, which was newly placed in her tank. I stopped and looked again and realized she was pooping. This was fascinating since no openings are visible on a lizard. I didn’t want to embarrass her so I tried to hang back where she wouldn’t see me since Kima has always tended to be modest with these sorts of things. You know… this is like a naked in public nightmare that Kima could experience if she sees me.

BUSTED! She saw me so I walked on to let her finish. Ok fascination is now over and I just can’t understand why she keeps pooping in her food. I guess tomorrow I’ll add some fruit for variety. On another note… her poop is gawd awful smelling. I know most poops are but this little lizard can clear out a place with the stink she produces. I had to clean it out as soon as possible and make sure no crickets came out with the food and poop. The crickets are sneaky little creatures and Kima hadn’t eaten her morning dose. This is odd since she usually eats them within the first few seconds of them arriving in her abode.

I went back to the bus stop around noon to wait for Mini Red. When the bus arrived she ran and almost knocked me over when she jumped on me. I decided to treat her lunch at the new place up the street, The Big Pickle. There had been some question over the name of the place, by the people in the town, but I like it. I saw lots of faces I hadn’t seen in a while and my sandwich was wrong but it was good none-the-less. I promised Mini Red we’ll go back sometime soon for ice cream.

As we were waiting for our sandwiches I talked to Mini Red about what she and I needed to accomplish today. Some chores need to be done along with packing so we can run out and get a few items still necessary for the first day of school. This is our last chance since we will be gone this weekend. Plus there is something else I want to check out. I hate mentioning it to her because she will go crazy but I started looking at phones yesterday online. I had always said she would never get a phone before she was 13 but with some new issues with her Dad I would feel safer if she could contact me for any reason. I found a Migo that might work well but we’re going to go to a store and talk to a live person about adding this line to my plan. What I really like is there is this feature called Chaperone Capable, which is like LoJack for your kid. I can dig it! I can’t think of a better way to let your kid have more freedom and responsibility but securely.

Statements of the Day #2

My history with men, including some recent events, led me to the following statement:

"My history with men keeps telling me I need to switch sides. The only problem is I could never do the eating pussy thing."

One of my friends, who is a gay man, shivered and said:

"Ewwww me either!"

The week in review:

My last day of vacation I spent a portion of the afternoon drinking at Seacrets with my family. We had a blast but I knew it was time to go home when I cut up my foot on a rusty metal chair in the bay. When I sobered up I realized I probably wasn't up-to-date on my tetanus. Oops!

Monday:
I drove home from the beach much to Mini Red's dismay. I got home in time for a telecon and got a little work done before running off for the tetanus shot and to pick up Kima. Nicole was in town from Chicago so three of us got together for a girl's night out dinner in Bethesda.

Tuesday:
I had tickets for the NATS game and the girls were going out. What better way to get ready for my birthday than a girls night out at the game. We had a blast. Getting home was almost torture on the metro but I finally got home around 11. I cleaned up a bit and sat down to check my email. My night suddenly went down hill fast. The first email I came across told me my Aunt's husband died. This was so sudden and I was worried about my Aunt. The next email was rather unusual. It was from the sister of a man I have been talking to online. She was very nicely asking me to back away from her brother because she feared him getting hurt. This was very upsetting to me because I knew I couldn't. This is a man I had not yet met since we have only been in touch online. I know it all sounds crazy but I had such a good feelings about this guy and the possibilities.
As I'm emailing the sister back Nicole gets home (she was staying with me for the week) to find me in shambles. I know… What a PANSY I am!
I know… why would I be in shambles? If you put together the drinking and elation of the NATS winning, finding out about my Aunts husband, PMSing and being asked to back a way from a dude I'm very interested in. There's a lot of shit going on there. So I finally get to bed around 2am.

Wednesday:
Uggggh! I'm 38 now!
Nicole treats me to Starbucks on our ride in to work. I review the email to the sister and add a few things before sending it off. I feel better about that now. Whew!
I was taken out to lunch by my co-workers and met up with Dad for dinner at Olazzo in Bethesda. I drove out to see my friend in Columbia before heading back to get Nicole in Bethesda. It was a full day.

Thursday:
Mom and Dad had thrown some money my way and said have fun so I decided to get my nails done at my favorite place in Alexandria. My regular girl wasn't there and I feared she left that salon. I hadn't been there in so long and all the faces were new but I figured they were all just as good. Boy was I wrong. I wasn't thrilled with my manicure and it was peeling by the next morning. On top of that I noticed so many bad cleaning habits of tools that I was appalled.
After work there was a surprise party for my Aunt's birthday (not the one who's husband died). She seemed really surprised and had a blast.
I picked up Nicole and we went to get our eyebrows waxed before it was too late. We really looked like Frick and Frack walking out of that place with our red faces.

Friday:
I woke to notice I had some burns on my eyebrows from the wax. Just great!
I called the nail salon to complain but I don't think they really heard me. She kept insisting on fixing my nails and I refused.
I was excited for this day since the dude I've been chatting with online was due to arrive home.
My brother offered tickets for the Redskins pre-season game and I wanted to go so bad.
The girls got together again, before Nicole left, at the Georgetown Waterfront. It was so hot out and I think we all sweated off a few lbs. We left and decided to pick up some food for us and crickets for Kima and headed back to my place for a movie. I know we are low key but that's how we like it.

Saturday:
Nicole and I got up at 4:30 to get her to the airport. I was so sad to see her go and she made the week so much more bearable. I got home and crashed until Mini Red called me from the road. My Mom was coming home for the funeral so this saved me a day of driving to and from the beach.
I picked up Mini Red and we were off to purchase school supplies. This was not fun but I was glad to have the time with her before she went off to her Dad's for the next week.
After that it was all chaos… unpacking, repacking and I was getting ready to meet up with my Dad to go to Skins game.

Sunday:
Sunday was pretty uneventful since I planned on sleeping in and being a bum. Then this chick kept trying to get into my apartment even after I opened the door, looking like the biggest crap pile, she still tried to walk past me into my apartment. Finally, she got it.
I got ready and headed out for the wake. I hate these things but we wanted to be there for my Aunt.
After the wake I went home and put on running shorts and a t-shirt and headed to my friend's house in Columbia for dinner. I never usually dress down this much but thought we would just be hanging out. Until I found out they had other guests. Oh well. The food was awesome and I read to the boys before they went to bed. I so wish I had more kids maybe I can have Mini Red read to me before bedtime?.

It was a jam-packed week and I'm exhausted. There was good and bad and they all seemed to offset each other. There was just one more thing I was waiting for and that was to hear from the dude who I finally heard from Yesterday. I felt like I had been holding my breath waiting to hear from him and finally make plans to meet. My pessimistic side tried to keep me in check but it didn't help when I got the news that he was rekindling an old relationship and we wouldn't meet. I felt I had been through so much with him even though we never met and I was very upset. Was his sister's email a test I failed? So I am still wallowing a bit (a/k/a pansy ass) and this surprises me to no end considering we never met in person. I shouldn't be surprised I guess because this seems to be my running theme with men (*insert Debbie Downer tune here*). When he marries her this will make five guys (yes, I'm including him) that have walked away from me and married someone else.

Friday, Mini Red and I are off to PA to visit my Great Aunt. She is 94 and been a nun for 72 years. We will be staying in the convent again. After our last visit Mini Red decided she wanted to be a nun, but that only lasted about a week. Maybe this trip will be good for my mind and soul.

Are you ready????

For some FOOTBALL?

Brotha-Man has Redskin season tickets that include a tailgating party. He was unable to go to the game so Dad and I went.

Last season I went to a game but we got there late and left early. This time was so much more exciting. We arrived early for the tailgating party but we needed to find it first. I’m glad Dad has been there before because I wouldn’t have known where to look for this party. They had all sorts of games and happenings going on. We headed for the food tent where they had dogs, burgers, ribs, beans and coleslaw. We sat down and ate as we watched other football games on the screens in the tent. The Band came by and played a few tunes before marching on. We walked down a little further, after we ate, and there was a stage. The Cheerleaders arrived and I felt like I was invading in Man-World. I wanted to step back and out of the way but Dad seemed happy standing right up front.

The cheerleaders posed, performed, answered some questions and posed some more. Next they were getting ready for a raffle using the numbers on our wrist bands but first they had some trivia. They were down to the last question and they pulled Dad up there. He won a key chain. At this point I’m praying for the raffle cause I was just dripping standing there in the sun. Our numbers came close twice but no luck.

We hiked up to our seats, which were awesome. The breeze helped too!

But then… our seat mates showed up. Two really loud excited boys. They sat down and spilled their soda, which pooled at my feet. The dad soon showed up and couldn’t believe his son had already spilled his drink but sent him off for another. They boys started yelling out, even obscenities in Spanish… they were yelling non-stop! I was surprised their dad didn’t say anything to them.

From where we sat we could see everything! It was amazing the number of people on the field. Then they got everything started… the cheerleaders, the band with their headdresses and the music was going when they shot fireworks. It scared the crap outta me. They did it again when the Skins players came out and it scared me again. I was happy to see them pull those things off the field.

I was enjoying the game but then the Jets scored. The Skins came back in the second quarter to tie it up. But before the cheerleaders got back into position the Skins kicked off to the Jets who caught the ball and ran right through all the Skins with no problem and scored. Uggggh. This is how the rest of the game progressed.

We left at half time because Dad said it would only be second and third string at this point. Plus the game didn’t mean anything since it was preseason. By the time we got home the third quarter was over and the Skins were down 20 to 7. The final score was Jets 27 Skins 14.

I had a great time and I have never been so excited about Football season.

Go Skins!

Saint Ralph

If you’re looking for a good movie to watch then check out Saint Ralph! What an awesome movie! I never noticed it in the theaters but found it one day on Netflix.

Set in Hamilton in 1954, Saint Ralph is the unlikely story of Ralph Walker, a ninth grader who outran everyone's expectations except his own in his bold quest to win the Boston Marathon. Ralph is a fatherless 14-year-old with a seriously ill mother, who knows he's a time bomb waiting to explode into greatness, except that he has no idea where that greatness will manifest itself. An unfortunate incident of self-abuse in the community pool inadvertently sets him on this road when, as penance, Ralph is conscripted to the cross-country team. Desperate to believe a miracle will bring his mother out of a coma, Ralph becomes a convert to the church of running, and determines to win the Boston Marathon.

Tip-O-The-Day #3

I overheard a friend, on the phone, say:

"Don't just say it, make it happen."

A Little Bit O Dis and A Little Bit O Dat

- I’m driving down the road and a car turns onto my road as if I’m not driving here and I’m terrified they are coming into my lane. I turn to Mini Red and say “Did I turn on the cloaking device? I don’t remember doing that!”

- When I was on vacation I think my OCD went on vacation too. My room was a mess, I was lucky if I made my bed and it definitely wasn't perfect when I did and I didn’t even check the clock before pulling my first beer of the day from the kegerator.

- Mom has found a way to save her feet from getting burned on the hot sand at the beach. She wears socks! She’ll wear them with her sandals til she hits the beach then just the socks and the same in reverse when coming off the beach. It looks real dorky but I love that she doesn’t care what anyone thinks and does what she wants to do.

- When I was in Hawaii last year I picked up this Hawaiian shirt for my Dad. The color suits him and it’s very soft but it definitely isn’t his style to wear a Hawaiian shirt. I envisioned him wearing this one to the happy hours at the beach. It tickles my fancy to no end when I have seen him wear it twice. He will never say much about it in front of me because that’s the way he is, but he talked to Mom about washing it because he didn’t want the washing machine to ruin it. Then when we were all at happy hour he was telling my brother how soft this shirt is.

-Nicole is back in town for a week and it’s like she never left. The conversations we have are so amusing. I found a little framed print I thought she might like. I told her I saw it and bought it unlike when something is sought then bought. She continued this with, “Sometimes things are Thought, Sought and Bought.” Maybe we are the only ones who find this amusing.

- My friends and I were going through clothes to give to a charity and we came across a blouse with a side zipper. My one friend said, “What’s with the zipper it has no function.” My other friend and I giggled and said, “We need to unzip it to put the shirt on.” She raised her eyebrows and said “Hmmm, I just slip it right on.” What a Sex In The City moment.

- Did you know this is Elvis week? August 16th marks the 29th anniversary of Elvis’s death.

- I’m tired and Mini Red’s starting middle school soon (aaaggghhh!). Forgive me if there's a lack of posts.

The girls went to a game

The NATS beat the Atlanta Braves 5 to 0

What A Jam Packed Vacation Day!

We didn't get on the beach til about 1pm. The ocean was FABULOUS today! The waves were calm and Mini Red reconnected with a friend she had met on the beach a few days ago.

We decided to hit the Beach Party at Seacrets. Mom was gonna hang back with Mini Red. Dad, my sister, cousin and I headed on over.

We had a table on the beach and could see most everyone in the water on the rafts. There was a couple sitting near us who seemed to get real drunk real fast. He had a nice tuft of hair coming from his butt crack. They were wildly making out and tongues were everywhere. She soon disappeared and we saw her making her way back in from the water trying to look sexy. What made this really funny is she was wearing a nice skirt and long sleeve blouse, no swim suit. Plus when she was trying to get her man's attention he was taking a picture of this group of women. This completely ruined her sexy exit from the water.

We moved ourselves under some cover and to check out the band. Not many people were there but the ones who were had thrown a lot of drinks back and it showed. The lead singer was trying his damndest to get people dancing so he started bribing them with t-shirts and hats. This was working! He then got them to do a conga line and that gots things started... at least for a little while. We loved watching them. I was able to capture some pictures with my camera phone.

Check out this guy who was in the conga line:

Here's more of him with the ladies:

We were having ablast watching everyone when my sister noticed this woman:

Where is her belly button?!?!?!?

We got home clean up and headed out to the White Marlin Open (WMO) to see what the catches of the day are. We got there just in time for two boats coming in. The first had a White Marlin weighing in around 68 lbs putting it in 4th place. Caught by a lady Angler.

The second boat had a Wahoo fish. The WMO requires the Wahoo to be at least 45 lbs to qualify and this one was 28 lbs. They might not be able to use their Wahoo for the tournament but it will make for some great steaks.

We ended the evening walking down the boards and listening to a little J.R. Booker at the free concert series on the beach. Mom enjoyed the dancing. The moon was bright orange and if I were in the west I would've said it was a sunset but it was the full moon rising and it was beautiful. I wish I could have captured a photo of it.

My feet now hurt and I'm tired but it was a great day!

What is the purpose of it all?

Dying! What a morbid thought. Are we supposed to be thinking about it, unless we are knocking on death’s door? What is the purpose of our lives? WOW what a huge question that is!

JoeLogon did a post and it got me thinking…

When I was younger I would stop and realize how lucky I was to be created. But what is the purpose? I’m still figuring that out and thankful for my chance.

I see people and wonder what their purpose is? What about all those homeless people or crazy families on Jerry Springer? Is the purpose of the homeless peoples to test us and see if we will step up to the plate and help? This could be for a zillion tests. Would we even be tested? What about all those Jerry Springer type people? I know I’m being mean.

Death seems to be taken so lightly, at least on television. Then you might hear of an accident and a fatality and no one bats an eyelash. We seem to take death so lightly anymore. That life that was lost was a life created so long ago with a Mother and Father who nurtured that person from their first step and that first day of school to Middle School and on to High School and dating. There are tests for life and tests for school and preparing for College and moving out on their own growing into this responsible adult. This adult who struggles through relationships and jobs and finally finds the love of their life. They get married in a huge wedding that their parents have been saving for since they were born. They finally have children of their own and start the process all over again. Now… they are gone and no one bats an eyelash.

Life is so precious yet I sometimes think that is forgotten. The tragedies such as the people strung out on drugs living on the street and the kids that carry guns. We have been given a precious gift that doesn’t last long and more and more people are just throwing it away. Why? I know these are difficult questions and I’m not expecting you to give me the answer… it just doesn’t make sense to me. Maybe I’m naïve?

My ex-husband would just start crying at odd times. I would ask him what is wrong and he would say “My Parents are going to die!” The first time this happened I was concerned that they were sick or he had just learned of some fatal illness they had and I comforted him and asked him to tell me where this was coming from. I found out it just came out of nowhere and I soon learned that this would happen often. Maybe to get my attention but also I believe it’s a genuine fear of his. I still hear about it from him and we’ve been divorced for seven years. This seems to me to be a waste of time and energy. I’m not particularly happy about that day coming for my parents but I will worry about it when it’s warranted. No sense in worrying about it all... at least not right now. Just try and enjoy what life has to offer.

Isn’t the ultimate purpose of life to be happy?

Ahh she got me... I’ve been tagged!

Miss Chatter tagged me! Oye! I have to write five weird things about myself. I’m not a real fan of these but I will play along. I know Tish will love this.

1 - I can burp. Without carbonation by sucking in air bubbles and I can do the alphabet. A story will be blogged about this soon.

2 - My right thumb is triple jointed and this serves no purpose and doesn’t supply me with any funny stories.

3 - I can touch my tongue to my nose as well as my chin. Friends once swore I must be the long lost child of Gene Simmons.

4 - My Father’s side of the family all live in the same county. This includes two Aunts, one Uncle, 9 of us cousins and our 12 children. Actually… all of us live in the same town except for my brother but he is still in the same county. For a total of 34 of us on my Father's side.
My Mother’s side are all within and hour of each other and in this small state of Maryland. This includes Two Aunts, one Uncle, 7 of us cousins and our 3 children with one on the way. This totals 20 of us, with one on the way, on my Mother's side.
Every Christmas I see every last one of them... from both sides.

5 - I haven’t traveled much but I have been to Korea. I was on a bus tour and we stopped at a truck stop for food and I got the only thing that looked safe. I got sick as a dog and later found out it may have been dog. Ewwww

I’m going to tag Tish, Brico, Dawn, Kilgorsky and the Mad Cabbie even though he is out of town. He can get it when he gets back. This is all out of love and respect guys cause I love your blogs.

The Minnies Drive Home

I went to show a photo of Mini Red, to a fellow blogger Friday night, from the photos on my cell phone.

I had completely forgotten that Mini Red had asked to use my phone on the drive home from the beach the weekend before. I had no idea she took so many photos of her and her Minnie Mouse.

This is Minnie Mouse mooning the camera. Mini Red put a for sale sign on it.

Mini Red shows her love for Minnie by giving her a kiss. You can see I'm oblivious in the background since I am paying attention to the road.


Mini Red attempted to take a photo of her and Minne but Minnie seems to have been cut out. Minnie you are OUT!

In an attempt to redeem herself and show Minnie her love she added this frame to a photo of Minnie.


Another photo of Minnie for this Minnie photo shoot. Maybe she was drinking since Mini Red had to hold her up.





Now it's time for a photo of just Mini Red.






The camera then got turned on me and Mini Red said, "Mom! Look like LOVE!"

Yeah I know... doesn't look much like Love to me either, but Mini Red was happy with it and that's what matters most.

Blogger Happy Hour Virgin... no more

Kathryn and DC Cookie sponsored a Blogger Happy Hour at Gazuza. This is my first Blogger get together, which means I am no longer a Blogger Happy Hour virgin!

Miss Chatter and I decided to team up and attend this event together since it was a first for the both of us. We both wanted to hit home prior to the HH to freshen up after the grime of a Friday. So we agreed to meet at the Dupont metro at 7:15ish.

I had googled Gazuza for the address and read a few reviews. The common thread was “It’s a place to see and be seen in Dupont.” I fretted over what to wear since I’m no fashionista, but that didn’t last long. I decided to be myself and in the end I didn’t change from work. I even stuck with my huge shoes, which could double as a weapon if necessary. I was, of course, going into the District, which is in a “Crime Emergency” status.

I arrived first, which is very unusual since I can’t seem to time things right and I’m usually fashionable late. I left Miss Chatter a message, as I was riding the escalator, that I was outside the south exit. When I arrived at the top and was gathering my bearings as to where I was I realized there were a few people standing around. Since I wasn’t quite sure what to do with myself I decided to move to the back behind the newspapers and wait.

I had a blast watching people. I hadn’t been downtown in sometime and I hadn’t been in Dupont for YEARS. I had wondered how the young, chic, upwardly mobile (YCUM) in downtown looked and acted. I realized they weren’t so different. I was surprised how many more people joined to wait for someone outside the metro. It reminded me of the airport. People would emerge from underground and find someone waiting for them and there would be hugs and kisses and sometimes awkward moments. One woman stood around and finally realized the dude she was looking for was standing there the whole time watching her. They laughed and she hit him before they did the kiss on the cheek greeting. One woman walked out and right up to a parked car to use it as a full body mirror to check and adjust herself.

A man approached me and whispered “What is everyone waiting for? Is someone going to hand out chocolate?” He completely caught me off guard but I had to laugh because I was thinking the same thing. He said he was satisfied with my response since he was just looking to make me laugh. I couldn’t help but think this could so be a Missed Connection moment. I will be sure to check for it. I had to resist my urge to pull out my little pad of paper and start writing all of this down. Seems I remembered it all just fine… so far.

We arrived at Gazuza about 7:15 walked in and… nothing. We don’t know what these people look like except for the few photographs. I thought for sure I would recognize Kathryn right off. We were hoping someone would recognize Miss Chatter with her Nats baseball jersey. First things first and we grabbed a beer. As we were talking I get tapped on the shoulder. “I’m here to meet a group of bloggers and I have no idea what they look like.” Ahh, that’s us too. We have met Jay Gatsby. He isn’t a blogger…YET, but he is a commenter. After Jay’s third drink we send him over to the other side of the bar to look for more bloggers. We didn’t want to just approach random people, but after Jay had loosened up he was willing. It wasn’t but a few minutes when he came back to tell us they were all in the back. We grabbed a second beer and headed over.

First we met Kathryn who pointed out a bunch of people and the blogs they write including Grateful Dating, Looking to Live and Home Improvement Ninja. We spoke to a few others but it was so difficult to hear. I tried to read lips and would catch bits and pieces and get by. Miss Chatter and I were feeling very out of place and grabbed some seats on the couch and just watched. She made a very good point that since she was married she was out of practice on approaching people. This was my cue that it was up to me. I thought I saw Kassy so I grabbed Miss Chatter and over I went. She recognized my blog… how exciting! She had roses for all the ladies. I asked if these were courtesy of one of the guys hanging out her window from her dancing episode? She laughed and introduced us to more bloggers, including Wendy who writes Harmony Music. It was so difficult to hear that we couldn’t get details on everyone.

Miss Chatter and I excused ourselves to hit the bar again. I asked Kathryn if Velvet was there. Yeah, I finally got to meet the famous Velvet. We chit chatted about each other’s blog and she asked about Mini Red. Mini Red is starting puberty so there should be plenty to write about... With Mini Red's approval, of course.

9:30 was approaching and I couldn’t finish the beer I had or I would surely be a mess. Miss Chatter needed to get back cause the game was on at 10. We made our departure and agreed to do this again. I very much enjoyed the evening and it was nice to put the faces with the blogs and find out REAL names. I've found more blogs to check out too.

Are ya feelin the Love?

I’m not one for meme’s, much, but I came across a little something from The Pajama Mama, via A Daily Dose of Zen Sarcasm and I just couldn’t resist. I mean really… who doesn’t want to feel some LOVE?

Pajama Mama says:

We’re so quick to point fingers, place blame and criticize the people in our lives. It’s easier to point out a fault than it is to praise a strength. It’s easier to mention something that needs to be done better than it is to acknowledge something that’s been done well.

Therefore, I christen today (and the next few days) “Bloggin’ Good Blogger Days” in the blogging community. Your mission, shall you choose to accept it (and you will), is to go to as many blogs as you can and point out at least one good thing about the author of that blog. Do your best to give them a warm fuzzy feeling. Show your appreciation, admiration or plain old joy.

Tell them why something they did touched you, why a choice they made shows the true fabric of their moral being. Just go BE NICE to every blogger who’s blog you read today. And don’t be shy, either!!

Plus, post an entry similar to this one on YOUR blog and ask people to leave warm fuzzies in your comments. Spread the love, people!

Maybe if we take a week to engage in warm fuzzies, they will become a more permanent part of our daily lives, both on and off the computer.

In review:

1. Leave me a warm fuzzy in my comments.

2. Post a similar entry (or copy and paste this one, giving credit) on your own blog.

3. Leave a warm fuzzy on every blog you visit today.

4. Sit back, read your own warm fuzzies and feel, well, warm and fuzzy!

Enjoy!

I hate those mass forwarded emails

I'm not one to pass along those mass emails. I don't believe in the You'll have back luck if you don't. I rarely even read most of the funny emails sent to me at work.

BUT...

I just noticed an email that was sent five days ago. It had a link to one of the funniest blogs I've seen in a while.

That Girl Emily

Tip-O-The-Day #2

Sometimes it's necessary to:

"Shit or get off the pot."

Statements of the Day

A friend of mine had some great statements today. They were so good I had to share them with you.

"A cat must have slept between my legs last night because my hips hurt."

In reference to finding out she might be tasked to yet another project:

"I guess I just got sucked!"

Keep on Honking

You know… I’m not a confrontational person. Therefore I’m not much of one to honk. I don’t even like to give the polite honks to tell some idiot to look up cause the light has turned green. I have been that idiot, zoned out and didn’t see the light turn green.

Every once in a while a situation comes along where you need to lay on the horn. I’m not talking the situation where they’re about to smash you against the median or another car. This only scares the crap outta ya. I’m talking some idiot making a slow right turn from the middle lane and stopping two lanes of traffic. This is when you LAY on the horn because your really just wondering what the hell happen to their brain cells to give them the idea they own the world.

So this exact scenario happens on Georgia Avenue last week and I saw a big ole car pile up coming from behind me. I LAYED on my horn and she slowly moved over and made her right turn. I was flustered but that only lasted a second before I made a huge realization. That felt good!

To just lay on that horn in all my righteousness and drive off knowing I would never… could never do such a thing because I’m THAT good of a driver.

What the Poop!

We did a cricket run yesterday. Mini Red put some crickets in Kima’s tank this morning and when we got home she still had about half left.

Hmmmmm this isn’t like her not to sloppily and loudly chomp them all up.

No biggie she will eat them when she wants EXCEPT... this round of crickets CHIRP!

What the POOP!

Yeah POOP!

In an effort to better my language, especially since I am a Mom, I am replacing the work fuck with the word POOP. It needs to be understood that it isn’t just the word POOP but it should be said with the proper inflection, e.g. PoooP! Definitely an exclamation at the end there.

I have been utilizing this for at least a month now and the reactions of those around me has been very amusing. Some start laughing and I have recently found out a male co-worker of mine sings the Poop song to his dog when he takes him out for walks. He swears the dog needs the song to pinch his loaf.

I had one person say: “Don’t Fucking use that language with me”. I suggested he use PoooP instead of his bad words. I think he fell off his chair laughing.

Field of Dreams

I often like to introduce Mini Red to some really good movies or shows made before her time.

Several months ago we borrowed the Wonder Woman series, with Lynda Carter. Mini Red loved it and I enjoyed seeing them again. We got a kick out of them mentioning places around D.C. where I now visit for work such as The Navy Yard.

Mini Red, who was born in 1995, now has a love for Forrest Gump (1994), Steele Magnolias (1989), Far and Away (1992), Mrs. Doubtfire (1993), The Santa Clause (1994) and Christmas Vacation (1989) to name a few. She can now add Field of Dreams (1989) to that list.

We caught bits and pieces of the movie on Sunday. So when I picked up Mini Red from camp, today, and she wasn’t feeling well we set up a plan for the evening. We went to the store to get a few items and decided it would be a seafood evening starting with half pound of steamed shrimp. This would hold us over til the rice was done and the salmon baked. I asked Mini Red what movie she would like to watch and she immediately said she would like to see Field of Dreams from start to finish this time. And so we sat and ate our seafood while watching this classic.

My favorite scene is between Kevin Costner (Ray Kinsella) and James Earl Jones (Terence Mann). Ray has already spoken to Mr. Mann who has thrown him out of his home. Ray decides to try another avenue to get Mr. Mann to go with him to a baseball game a Fenway Park.

RK: I didn't want to do it this way.

TM: What the hell is that?

RK: It's a gun, what do you think it is?

TM: It's your finger!

RK: No, it's a gun.

TM: Let me see it.

RK: I'm not going to show you my gun. I'm not going to hurt you. I just need you to come with me.... What are you doing?

TM: I'll beat you with a crowbar until you go away.

RK: Wait! You can't do that. There are rules here?

TM: Oh, no. There are no rules here.

Just as Terrence Mann is about to hit Ray with the crowbar Ray says: You’re a pacifist!

TM: Shit.

I loved James Earl Jones in this part! Kevin Costner looks so young. This all makes me feel so old.

Maybe Tom Hanks in Cast Away next? She definitely isn’t ready for the Godfather series yet and everyone knows Godfather II was the best one.

Got any ideas?

The Hair Cut continued...

Several people have asked to see Mini Red's Haircut from the front...